WMATA

The night I met WMATA was a night of celebration! Excitement and friends filled my spirit and being. It was safe to say I was feeling myself, in a state euphoric love. As WMATA and I began to hang out, there was a definite sense of physical attraction - I think. We hung out a few times and I became attached. I was attached to the fact that this man, not necessarily the right man for me, had given me a bit of attention that sometimes as women we so desperately fall for, and the chase was on!

Text's would be sent, phone calls would be made, and countless nights of jumping out of bed just to see if his car was outside. Tossing and turning in my sleep, walking on edge but always dressed to check the mail or run out to my car, for the hopes that I might run into this man. This indeed was a great idea until one day I did, but I had nothing to say. I was completely frozen inside, but outside I probably gave off the vibe of FINALLY! This went on for a few months and I decided to not call or text, just parking stalk to see if his car was there or not. Most nights it wasn't, leaving me wondering who she was, what she had, and how I might be inadequate. I mean the list just goes on and on.

After returning from a long trip now 6 months after we met, I decided to look up his number and give him a call. Ring, Ring, Ring, no answer. But 5 minutes later he calls me back. We talk for a while, the whole time he's telling me what I want to here, making me smile, the whole nine yards and then some! I know exactly what he is doing, but damn, I just cannot seem to break the hold. We end up hanging out, and hooking up, hanging out and hooking up. The definition of this situation needs to be addressed, and every time I am away from him I play it out in my head; perfect scenario.However when I'm with him, things never go as planned. We continue this pattern into the danger zone, where nothing has been defined, feelings and emotions are hitting that fine line. By this point i'm now telling myself, you should have had this conversation weeks ago! Now I am in a predicament!

Finally gathering the courage to just ask him what this is. I received the response that was there all along. This is what is it, nothing more nothing less, but hey, I like you, just not looking for something serious right now. Laughing on the outside, indifferent on the inside, but all together acknowledging that this is a dangerous situation I am playing with my emotions. I decided to give it a go. The arrangement was not what I expected nor imagined. The frequent benefit was not so frequent and the situation all in all was frustrating to say the least.

WMATA supposedly got engaged 2 days before our last arrangement, though he didn't tell me, and he still hasn't. Long story short, infatuation and attention does't equate to liking, arrangements are not what I am looking for, and when a man in your life shows you 4 spades, its no illusion, so take him for what he is.

the Dad

The first man in my life to love me, care for me, and treat me like a princess. Dad's are sometimes these ideal characters that we can run to at any moment in life and no matter what the circumstance may be he will always be there. My dad is the type of man to be there for me right or wrong, he is there. He listens, sometimes for hours on end, without saying a word. And once I've gotten it all out, he say just the right thing that makes you smile inside, giving you the reassurance that everything is going to be okay.

The most recent situation with the dad is that I had been going through a time in which my faith was being tested tremendously. Mom always had so much to say and often times didn't grasp the fact that I just needed to talk, to tell someone my problems, my issues. But the dad, he was there to listen, give me words of advice only when the opening was there. He let me refute what he was saying even though it was good advice because he understood that at that moment, I needed to feel some sort of control in the hurricane and raging water that had just hit my life. I talked to the dad about my move, and how I felt like it might not have been the right decision at the time. We talked about financial struggles and my greatest fear in life, being the working poor. s tears rolled down my face he sat on the phone, waiting for me to finish. I love the dad and I will always be his little girl.